Final Journey

This happened yesterday, 2nd September (Sunday).

We were told to be at the Serdang Hospital morgue at 9 am this morning. It was a hard night to sleep the night before (Saturday). I constantly cried. I felt if I had done things differently, she would still be here. I know it is too late to cry over spilled milk, but I feel like I had not done enough. Have I not been a good enough mother to her? My heart ached and felt it weighed a tonne. I literally cried myself to sleep, I think managed 2 hours of sleep.

So we reached the morgue slightly before 9am. The whole process finished at about 11.30am and we were allowed to receive her body. The cause of death was stated at broncho pneumonia. Our BEC members have arranged with the funeral service people the night before and with a few calls of confirmation and they were there waiting with us since about 10am. My close friends also came to lend me support there.

I had prepared a dress which I bought her a few weeks ago. A pretty little light brown checked frock. She had finally grown to a size when I can start fitting her into nice little dresses which I had been buying for her but alas, she only got to wear this one. The funeral service people helped us dress her up in the morgue release room. I hesitated but with my hubby's reassurance that she looked fine, I finally gained courage to see her body in the room. She looked beautiful in the pretty dress and white lace socks, I touched and gave final kisses to her little cold and lifeless body and she was lifted into the little casket. We placed her favourite little pillow and a small key toy in it with her. And we left the morgue to go to the church.

We arrived with the casket about 15 mins to 1 pm. It was placed beside the church hall while waiting for the funeral service at 4pm. Prayers were said for her by BEC members and friends, even the group of Myanmar people having their gathering there offered prayers for her. My older children arrived with my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law and her children also came. My mum, brothers and sister-in-law reached about 3 pm, my friends and some BEC members were already there since earlier. We moved to the main church and by now more BEC members, friends, colleagues have arrived. I placed a small Lady of Perpetual help pendant which Father blessed and gave to us a few months ago when Emily was sick and hospitalised. At 4pm, my hubby carried her casket and with Father, followed by the my children and I and the rest of the congregation, we entered the church main hall. It was the most beautiful Mass, Father's homily after the Gospel reading, was the most beautiful one that I had ever heard from him. He depicted little Emily as the pretty tiny flower in a pot that GOD so loved, watched over and waited for and finally brought HOME with HIM. He said Emily through her 5 months of life (5 months and 9 days actually) has brought my family so much closer to each other and to GOD, she has brought together and affected so many BEC members.We witnessed this in the beautiful Mass which although was so hastily arranged, had seen so many people come together to make it such a beautiful one that my family and I are so very thankful and grateful for. I cried at his words, my 4 year old daughter asked me not to cry because Emily is in heaven.

The Mass ended, and hubby carried her casket to entrance of the church and everyone present blessed and looked at my peaceful and beautiful little baby before the casket was closed up and brought to the burial ground a short drive from the church. Father came and conducted the burial rites, hubby placed the casket into the dug grave. My boys put in handwritten messages for their little sister and witnessed by so many people, she was buried.

It was the most beautiful Mass and burial that I can ever imagined. Emily's final journey in this harsh world was a most beautiful one.

BEC members came to say Rosary prayers for Emily at our house and will continue to do so for 7 days from Saturday.